Yep, I swallowed my pride and had a housekeeper come yesterday. I know, I know, I’m still in shock too.
And let me tell you, this was NOT an easy decision for me. Did you all by chance read Chris’ post the other day about her hiring an Alice? I have been thinking those exact same things for MANY months now. It’s pretty annoying of myself to bicker under my breath (sometimes out loud too) while cleaning. It’s not that I hate cleaning or anything either, and it’s not because I’m lazy. It’s that I just cannot do the entire house at once like a housekeeper can. I can only maybe do 1-2 rooms. And the upstairs, well, forget about the upstairs because it never gets cleaned. There, I said it.
I do keep the house picked up most all of the time. But actually cleaned is something different. I want clean! I have scheduled people to come clean before, then cancelled the day before they were supposed to come. Why? Because I felt guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, etc etc. A few things that would run through my mind are “I stay at home for goodness sake! It’s my job to clean and take care of our home! I know how to scrub a toilet too! I can use that money for a cool project!” (yes, my mind is non-stop)
And of course I have to throw in a few justifications for you so I feel better.
- I can’t do everything
- I can’t do everything
- I can’t do everything
- Ummm, and oh yea, I can’t do everything
And yes I did feel like a total loser for having someone come clean. But, that loser feeling went away about 5 minutes after they started cleaning. Haha. But seriously, it did.
And a tip if you might be shopping around for a housekeeper:
- Get quotes from a few different people. I found out that the big name companies are MUCH more expensive. I would try and find a local housekeeper who does cleaning, most likely on the side. Just ask around. Ask your friends and neighbors.
Ours will be coming every 2 weeks and she is very affordable and well worth it. If I have to sacrifice buying a new lamp because I need the money for the housekeeper, I’m totally ok with that. What I’m trying to say in a nutshell is that we aren’t rolling in the dough by any means, but I want to do whatever it takes to make this work, even if that means giving up something I’d normally do with that money. Why? Because we all know “a happy wife = a happy life.”
And for now, this no longer applies:
:)
So, I want to know if any of you have helpers around the house? Do you need a helper? (that’s probably a dumb question) Have they been a lifesaver? Did you struggle with all of the guilt like I did before you hired one? I hope not! This was a therapeutic post for me, thanks for listening! :)
xxoo,
Decorchick!
I hired a company for the first time a few years ago to help clean before our daughter’s graduation party…we were in the midst of landscaping our backyard at the time, so I had my hands full. They did an okay job, and I thought…I’ll keep them on for a bit. Fired them a couple months later…so not worth the money. I had to go behind them every time. Since then, I have wanted to try again, but just don’t want to have to deal with the hassle. However, right now…I’d love for EVERYTHING to get clean at once!
I had to go behind a few spots too for little things, but since the main stuff did get done pretty well I’m ok with it. I figure that since I am so picky anyway, I’ll have to pick up after anyone. :)
I have a woman that cleans our house every two weeks. I felt the same guilt about having her clean too-especially since I stay home. We have 3 kids and when she started cleaning for us I was pregnant with the third. I couldn’t have imagined trying to clean the floors on my hands and knees. Knowing that she is coming gets me to make sure everything is picked up and organized. I use the weeks that she comes as a trigger to do a few things like clean off my desk, wash kids sheets, and pick up the garage entry-all things I would not expect her to do. The time that it would take me to clean the house I now use to really organize things, work in the garden, and even play with the kids. This stuff is much more enjoyable for me. I am definitely over the guilt, and I would give up a lot to keep her.
I have help every two weeks, and it’s the best day ever! But I’m like you, I feel bad about it and don’t tell anyone (like my family, etc). And I refuse to have her if I’m home, only when I’m at work. Why do we put such pressure on ourselves to do everything?!?!?!
Gah I don’t know! It’s annoying right??
We have a cleaner who comes every two weeks and I love having her! It was the best thing ever. Like you – I could never do it all at once. With two little ones and working full-time, I just felt I couldn’t manage. This frees up time to do other things. I am so glad we did it.
My parents have had a cleaning lady for as long as they’ve been in their house they have now. She’s now part of the family and they hire her to watch the house when they’re out of town. They found her through another friend who had referred her and she’s been with us since!
Oh girl. I work full time and we are on the go a lot. I have no guilt in having a housekeeper that comes every 2 weeks. My justification on spending that money is that a) my husband isn’t going to help clean and do it as well as I expect it done and b) enjoying that freed up time is much more valuable.
Amen girl!!
My boyfriend and I live in a 600 sq foot 1 bed/1 bath basement apartment, and I’ve seriously considered hiring someone to come clean, so you definitely shouldn’t feel the least bit guilty.
Honestly, the only thing stopping me is that we have so much junk packed into such a small space I’m afraid they wont really be able to reach/get to most areas to clean them.
Two people in a tiny space makes for more mess than I ever could have imagined (and holy geez, why did no one warn me that boys have such a hard time aiming for the toilet?!) and no matter how much I scrub and bleach and wash and wipe, it’s never as clean as I’d like.
Oh goodness, messy boy toilets are the worst.
AHHH! i live in a 750 ish sf apartment with my boyfriend and 3 pets and i am in your boat, too – it’s completely overwhelming to keep a space that small clean (two things get amiss and suddenly its cluttered, messy, and I feel discouraged) – and I work all day and go to school part time 3 nights a week and have considered getting one at least for the living/kitchen/bathroom – i feel guilty about having one for such a small space. Also, my boyfriend DOES try but “clean” to him is NOT clean to me.
I have had a cleaning person for YEARS. I’m considering hiring a more “Alice” type person for once or twice a week just to make beds, put away toys, etc. It might go a long way towards keeping me sane!!!
OH now that sounds niiiiiice!
This is a tough subject for me, as well. I’ve had someone come in and clean our house several times over the years, but I feel they don’t do a good enough job for the money. My house is too large for me to clean all at once since it has 3 floors, but if I keep the main floor cleaned, I’m doing good. Our house stays pretty tidy now that I only have one college age daughter at home. If I were working outside the home I would definitely hire someone.
I understand. I am pretty picky and still had to straighten up a couple of things after they left, but I’m trying to get over that since the “big” stuff was done and that made me feel better. Just to have the bathrooms cleaned was a huge help!
Psst… You can’t do everything.
You hit it right on the head. We only have so much time in a day and sometimes, something has to give. Why not the cleaning. Your house won’t know who is scrubbing the floors ;) I am sure you thought long and hard about it and made the right choice for you. No one should make you feel badly about how you live your life. Not even yourself ;)
We had a very large, 2 story house when we lived in California. I had a gal come every other week and do all the baths, scrub the tile and vac the stairs. Otherwise, all I did was clean and do yard work. It was a vicious cycle. She helped just enough that everything was always clean and I was not crazy.
PS-You’re spreading the love and helping to support the economy.
That’s great you had help too! It really is a vicious cycle huh?
No way! I’d LOVE to have a house cleaner….but she’d have to come 3 times a day since cleaning after my kids is pretty much, well, never-ending! (and yes, they do help!) One of my friends said it may be abetter investment then marriage counseling!!!
hahaha love it!! Sounds like it might be time for a live-in nanny. ;)
Don’t feel guilty, that’s awesome! I would totally have a maid if I could. Who wouldn’t?!
Thank you for this post! I have been struggling with guilt for years now because I am a SAHM with 3 kids and my house is always DIRTY! Reading your post was like reading the exact thoughts in my head—(especially the part about the upstairs—same situation here in our house lol) –its good to know other moms feel the same way!! My husband has encouraged me to get a cleaning lady but of course the guilt has always stood in the way. After reading yours and Chris’s posts, this may just be the final push I need to ask my neighbor for her cleaning lady’s number. Thanks again!!
Oh Beth, DO IT!! Especially if your husband is encouraging about it! Call, now. :)
I was raised to be very self-sufficientand am from a family that rarely hired anything done. Then I met my boyfriend, Adam. When we were talking about me moving into his house he said he wasn’t going to give up his housekeeper. At first I was offended but when he said he would rather have us spending time together verses spending time cleaning the house, I changed my mind about having a cleaning lady! Good work on giving in and doing something for you!
Wow, that Adam sure sounds like a keeper!!
Don’t give in to the guilt! Seriously, I have been thinking about this for a while now, and the only reason I haven’t pulled the trigger on it is that we just moved into a much smaller house a few months ago. Although, I guess it is not the size of the rooms anyway… I the rooms I struggle to keep clean to my standards are the bathrooms and kitchen (floors, baseboards, etc.) So I might just look into this :) As SAHMs sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves. I feel like the only time I have to really clean is after my kids are in bed at night, and then I get a little resentful that I am not “off the clock” like my husband is… sometimes I just need to let the dishes sit in the sink and watch a show or catch up on my blog. And NOT feel guilty about it. We never leave our jobs so it is even more important to take time “off” for ourselves when we can. Thanks for the post!
Wow, couldn’t have said that any better Holly!
For years, I have wanted help with cleaning our house, but I struggled with the guilt, especially since it’s only my husband and I in our home (no kiddies yet). I work full-time 5 days a week and commute 2 hours a day. My hubby – he works 6 days a week. Finding time to clean the house was not happening. And, if it did, other areas of our life suffered (like preparing healthy meals, grocery shopping, yard work…..oh, and a social life!) I tried a few cleaning companies and they were all terrible! Had to fire each and every one. I chalked it up to being picky….maybe even a little OCD. I said that enough was enough…..we would just have to make time to do it ourselves. And, we did….for about a few weeks. Then, our house fell into disarray. I was embarrassed when people would come over. I stopped entertaining. I stopped being that person who loved it when friends and family randomly dropped in. Our open door policy was now closed. Not good. Finally, a friend suggested a cleaning lady that his parents had used for over 20 years. I agreed to have her come over to provide a quote. Her price was more than reasonable and we agreed that she would come the next day. We’ve never turned back. She is our angel!
Our cleaning lady comes every two weeks and spends 3-4 hours in our home. It has never sparkled like the way she can make it shine! She even cleans our unfinished laundry room…..which is like a scary bat cave!
She gives so much care and attention to our home everytime she comes, we’re just so thankful. I recently made her a gift to show her our appreciation. You can read about it here: http://the236.net/2011/09/30/fabric-wrapped-fall-candle/
Good for you for hiring someone to help you so you can focus on other areas of your life. Don’t feel guilty….think of it as a gift!
Michelle from the236.net & @The236
Michelle she does sound like an angel, and I am glad you found her!! And the candle you made for her is precious! So thoughtful of you.
I actually used to be a professional cleaner. The money was fantastic, but I’ll tell ya, it sucked! So, as a previous professional, I’ll give you a few tips: 1) when we clean your house, we generally have to make a mess of it first-it’s easier to pull everything apart (rugs, blankets etc.) before we put it back together. So do us a favor, and leave while we are cleaning-especially if you have kids. Please, for the love, find somewhere you and the kiddos can go for a few hours so we can get our job done quickly and efficiently. It’s a bit of a pain cleaning, only to have a 2 year old going behind you messing up or trying to be a little “helper.” (As cute as they may be). 2) I think this goes without saying, but we don’t want to pick up your undies, or clean out, uh, messes, in your toilet… 3) Pick someone to clean your house that you completely trust, and stick with someone who does this as a second job or (like you said) on the side. The big companies do not generally deep clean as well as someone who “chooses” to clean to make extra money. and 4) Please, pay us on time! :) ..and sometimes find it in your heart to leave a tip. (because we did just scrub your toilet.)
ha, thank you for the tips Kalee! But isn’t one of the reasons we hire a helper is to clean the messes in the toilet? ;) Just kidding. I understand your point.
I had a housekeeper for our 1600 sq ft home for 2 years when I decided to go from p/t to f/t work. Then we moved into a 3600 sq ft home and I was so nervous to ask my housekeeper to give me a quote because I thought it was going to be super expensive since we only paid $65 bi-weekly on the smaller house. I was driving myself crazy with trying to keep up the bigger house that I couldn’t even enjoy our new place. My husband finally forced me to call her back and it was only $20 more than what I was paying. I do NOT regret having her clean for me. It is the job she does to support her family and she would otherwise be cleaning someone else’s house, so why not mine? Don’t feel guilty unless you are taking the food out of your family’s mouth to afford it! Who need a new lampshade anyway?? (Oh wait, I do!!)
Haha love this comment Cindy!! And I’m so glad she was still affordable!
I SOOO wish I could have a cleaning lady! My house is never as clean as I would like for it to be. I usually have someone come in right before Thanksgiving and Christmas, since we host both holidays. If my husband didn’t work nights and sleep days I would have someone here once or twice a week… even if i had to sell everything I own to pay for her ;)!
Thanks for posting this! It has made me break down to get some estimates. If I could afford this only 1x a month it would be a huge help.
Yay!! Don’t forget the big companies are usually more expensive, so try and find someone who cleans on the side. And don’t forget there’s always room for a little “bargaining.” I pretty much just told ours what I could afford and asked if we could make that work and she said ok. Never hurts to ask.
Don’t feel bad at all! There’s something special about the way a pro does it, your house just feels magically cleaner than you could have ever imagined. My mom has had one coming every two weeks for a good 10 years (?) now, and even through layoffs and tight times kept her on for her sanity. And her cleaning lady doesn’t do everything either, you still have to keep things up in between, but to get your toilets and sinks and blinds and all the icky kinds of spots done is sooo worth it.
When I was in high school my best friend’s family had someone come in once a month, and I was really judgmental about it at the time. Now I totally get it. There is a big difference between tidy and clean. You need to feel good about your home. Good for you!
My daughter and husband were working full-time and spending their weekends cleaning house so I encouraged her to get a cleaning person twice a month so they could enjoy their time together instead of housework! I’ve never had a cleaning person but would do it in a hearbeat if my husband wasn’t so great about helping out!
I would love it, just can’t afford it:( Don’t feel guilty!
I’m a housekeeper. Over the years I’ve worked for several women I affectionately call Super Moms. They apologize profusely for the messes they’ve hired me to clean. Its hard for them to accept help and admit to being overwhelmed. I always reassure them that I’m happy to come help them out. I never judge them or their situation. I want them to think of me as a friend they can depend on to lessen their load. I love my job and have made lasting friendships with my clients. The secret to a great homeowner/housekeeper work relationship is RESPECT. On both sides.
Heather- I think that I would just fall in love with you if I met you. Your post was so lovely and sweet and you just sound like a very special soul! Rock on that you love your job and that you make others lives all the better for what you do!
Heather, you don’t by chance live/work in Utah do you? I second Jenny, you sound lovely. I have been considering this for quite some time now. Boy would I love to work with someone like you. Not to mention we share the same first name.
Well Heather you just sound awesome! And looks like you have a few fans here too! :)
First of all, I would do the same thing. Don’t ever feel embarrassed or ashamed. Do it for your family, S
Secondly, please don’t cancel on the person. I cleaned with a friend during college and if someone cancelled, that meant I couldn’t pay a bill!
It was my livelihood and I needed that income.
Thirdly, keep your home picked up. If I had to spend time picking up toys, making beds or straightening beyond a few things, that’s where my time went not scouring where it should have been. Help your cleaners prioritize what areas are most important to you. Mine would be kitchen and bathrooms. Dusting needs done again in a few moments time!
Floors with little ones are also a priority.
I found that families liked having us rather than a company as they got to know us and we not only took care of the family but took pride in their home when a good job was completed.
Best of luck and thanks for sharing.
Hi, I am new to the blog thing and I just figured out how to leave you a comment. Before I tell you about my housekeeper, I wanted to thank you for being my only follower..It was “southern comfort”, but I wanted a domain and that was taken, so I am at the address I provided…hope you will follow. So, my housekeeper….she is fantastic! She has been with me for 2 years and she cleans absolutely everything (even prisms on lamps!) She doesn’t clean every thing, every time but she gets it all in a month and my house always looks good…which makes me look great! I agree that you should stay away from the big companies. Like you, I got over the guilt relatively quickly once I saw the results. Just keep saying…”I can’t do everything.”
Hi Lori thanks for commenting!! That’s awesome you love your housekeeper!! And even more awesome your house always looks good. :)
Do I have one? No. Do I need one? A resounding YES!
It’ll be added to our routine eventually. I work full time and my weekends are entirely devoted to grocery shopping, dusting, cleaning and mopping the week’s accumulation and trying to make meals for the week. It’s just too much to try to juggle at once. Maybe if the house is already clean I can micro-organize every closet and drawer… Here’s to hoping!
Ahh Sarah I hope you can get one soon too, and maybe you can get your weekends back. :)
I use to have my own cleaning business years ago and I often thinking starting it again. I myself try to have the house picked up but
I often joke that I’m an organized hoarder/
It is so much easier to clean someone elses house and yes it can
Actually clean the whole thing.
I must have a little ADD because I can never get a room done.
One day I’ll cave and let someone else get it done for me.
Enjoy your clean home!
Megan
Girl, send that guilt out the door with the dirt. I just hired a cleaning lady last week for the first time and I love her, I love my house, and I am such a nicer momma around here. We can’t do it all.
Hahaha I think I’ll be nicer now too. lol
Applause girlfriend! I hired one months ago, and oh my word, I can breathe now! My hub finally sat me down and said “Dear, you need help. No. WE need help”. I had to let go, relinquish control, accept I could not do it all, and hire someone to help me dust and do floors! You know, he was right! Sometimes we just need a little help a couple times a month, good on ya mate!
xo
Kate
OMG this couldn’t have come at a more fortuitous time. I just had a service come out yesterday to give me a quote and I have knots in my stomach about calling them to actually clean my house. I feel everything you mentioned and then some. People think being stay at home=perfect and cleaned home……….no it means lived in constantly which=more mess. Add to that dog, two cats, bird, two rats, lizards, 2 kids and messy hubby and you get the pic…..your post has inspired me to bite the cleaning bullet and just make my life easier…………I will call them back tomorrow!
Good for you Jenny! Just remember the bigger named cleaning services seem to charge a lot more than a person who cleans on the side. Hopefully they will be worth it! :)
I recently asked my sister if she would help me out by cleaning my kitchen. We’re both on a budget, but I, too, figured I could spare a few bucks to free up some time (and I hate dishes!). I am single with no kids and my sister is divorced with 3 sons. Honestly, I think she agreed just so she could get out of her own house for a few hours of peace and quiet! :) When I came home on “cleaning day” I was totally unprepared: not only was my kitchen spic-and-span *sparkling* clean, so was my living area…complete with all of my paperwork neatly tucked away. She said that when I walked in, I looked like I won the lottery ;) but it felt (and smelled) so….peaceful. For several nights I was able to come home and just…relax. Imagine that! She charged me $30 and later text me, “maybe we could do this every few weeks?” YAY!
WOW, that’s an awesome sister you have!!
This post couldn’t have come at a better time. I feel all the guilt that everyone has been talking about. But, with 4 kids and a part time teaching position at our local University, there is not a lot of cleaning time. When I am home I want/need to play with the kids, help with homework, give lots of hugs and listen to lots of stories. EVERYTHING gets put off until they are sleeping, and by then my hubby wants to chat and then it is the next day and I am still behind and stressed.
Do any of you, that are using cleaning ladies live in Utah? I am in Northern Utah and would love a good recommendation.
Good for you! I’ve had mine for over 3 years and I dont now what Id do with out her. I know some people think its an unnecessary luxury but let me tell you my sanity is worth it! plus my family likes me happy- cuz if Momma aint happy…..
Gosh darn it! I wish women didn’t hold themselves in such high standards so that they don’t have to feel guilty hiring a housekeeper. We look at the messes day in and day out. Men, and kids don’t really notice it. But we do, because this is our workplace 24/7. We can not do it all, and if we aren’t happy then no one is happy right? As my husband has learned after being married for so long, Happy Wife, Happy Life
I have two cleaning ladies come twice a week 6 hours a day because of the size of my house. They used to come three times a week, but it was grating on me that they were here so much and I felt invaded. I wanted to enjoy my home without people cleaning around me {or see me in my PJ pants at 2:00 in the afternoon lol}. It’s a love hate relationship. I hate it, because it makes me feel uncomfortable if I am sitting around and they are working. I hate it because they can never clean like I do. But I love it because it means my house is staying clean, something I could never do by myself.
Life is too short to not hire a cleaning person LOL
Who did you hire? My mom owns a cleaning service in your area and mine and they clean my house too. There is no way I could get everything done in a day that they are able to do. Love having a cleaning service. Let me know if you ever need a new company. :)
I have been a housecleaner for the last 4-5yrs. Don’t feel guilty about not being able to “clean” your house. The fact of the matter is that you really do keep it relatively clean. You just need someone to get to the deep cleaning you would do if you weren’t already so busy. We can get it done in a day because we are not being interrupted by the telephone ringing of the hook, kids wanting to eat, or running out to do an errand that should have been done last week. You know how you have a knack for putting a certain look together? Or looking a something someone else might get rid of or throw away and slapping some paint on it and making it look like it was from Pottery Barn? Well, that’s what the cleaning ladies do. We do what you can do, but don’t have time to do, or know the most efficient way to do it. I always tell people that I’m proud of what I do because I don’t steal, lie or hurt anyone. It’s an honest living and many people need the help. For all you ladies who feel guilty, get over it and give another woman a chance to make an honest living to take care of her children or support her husband’s income. This is one the best ways we as women can support one another. If you can’t pay money for the services, consider bartering. Oh and by the way, give your housekeeper sometime to learn or create a routine for your home. She will get faster and be more complete. Thanks for sharing this post. I may try to see if I can get another cleaning job!
I totally understand the frustrations you had over hiring a house keeper. I struggle with it everyday. We live on a single family income and I feel like I should keep my house clean. But then I get busy with the kids and life and my house little by little starts to fall ways side. I pick up, do the dishes everyday, dust and vacume, but those floors, bathrooms etc… Are so tedious. I just want someone to come in once a month and do the deep cleaning and get the things I’ve missed over the past few weeks and all the high spots etc…
You’re right, we can’t do everything… More power to you! :D